


i couldn't be more in love.

by pinkgrapefruit



Series: coughing up petals [8]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race UK RPF
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Sad boi hours, bringing back the flower metaphors, good lord i have missed this, vanlentines day is not the one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29442819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkgrapefruit/pseuds/pinkgrapefruit
Summary: Maybe they should have stopped at making out.
Relationships: A'Whora/Tayce (Drag Race)
Series: coughing up petals [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1333606
Comments: 10
Kudos: 30





	i couldn't be more in love.

**Author's Note:**

> for the druk discord.  
> may i fuel your angsty needs for many moons to come xoxo

_ At the best of times, I'm lonely in my mind _

_ But I can find something to show you _

_ If you have got the time _

It’s the age-old question. What do you do when the person you think you’re supposed to love turns around and starts loving someone else? The person you’re supposed to be in love with. Tayce isn’t really one for fate but she’s damn sure that it wasn’t just lust and a bit of alcohol that brought them together. 

Not that she can be sure of anything anymore.

Because she was pretty sure that they’d mended this thing - this gaping hole between them. The hole that’d been letting water in til it started to sink the ship.

Maybe they didn’t.

Maybe they should have stopped at making out. 

_ Why would I rely on the things that I did right? _

_ She said, "I gave you four years of my life" _

_ So what about these feelings I've got? _

Because she’s downstairs experiencing the moment of a lifetime while A’Whora is elsewhere. (Elsewhere being upstairs with another man in a bed they shared once drinking wine from their fridge). 

Celebratory wine. And they offered some to Tayce or maybe she’s making that up because the feeling of loneliness tastes something like menthol and she’s choking. 

She doesn’t want to intrude but the way her insides are twisting is making her wonder if she’ll die all alone on this couch. 

She’s not the insecure one between the two of them but that might be changing. 

_ We got it wrong _

_ And you said you had enough _

_ What about these feelings I've got? _

What do you say to the person you are in love with when they aren’t there to say it. If your heart breaks when there’s no one around to see it did it even make a sound. 

She’s being dramatic. Of course, she is. And she’s not usually the one for over-exaggeration (or oversimplification, she likes to just say it as it is) but the exaggerating is more A’Whora’s speed. 

Who gave her the audacity to fall this hard for a white boy. She should have learned from Branjie - that shit never works but no. Of course, she didn’t. That would be easy and when has A’Whora ever made anything easy. 

“Let’s move in together,” she’s said. 

(Let’s try and decipher this relationship whilst living under the same roof so we can fuck it up with sex and domesticity and forget where we put the boundaries in the first place)

(Let’s break Tayce’s heart.)

_ I couldn't be more in love _

She’s always fucking hated Valentine’s day. Always felt like more of a thorn than a rose. 

What sounds worse than a day to just be lonely, oh yeah, a day where single people are surrounded by none single people.

And of course, all of their roommates have people to see. Things to do, people to see, people to do (if they weren’t in a pandemic). They’re all drinking the good drinks in their rooms, hogging the bandwidth facetime the people they love and Tayce is here. 

She should have bought herself flowers. What means loneliness, jealousy and sorrow?

Yellow hyacinths, foxglove for insecurity, cyclamen for heartbreak.

The colour combination is just as ugly as her insides feel and she wonders if this is why she’s never tried falling in love. Why do people romanticize something that hurts this bad.

_ I could've been a great line, I could've been a sign _

_ Overstayed my time, say what's on your mind _

_ Maybe I'll rely on all the things that I did right _

_ Because I'd give you all the years of my life _

How do you tell someone that you thought you might last forever? When they’re upstairs with another man?

That you thought you could get away with this half-friendship-half-relationship for just a little bit longer before you had to commit. 

How do you say that you wanted to keep the privacy because you thought this could be something real instead of you didn’t want it at all?

How do you say that maybe you’re a little bit too in love to stop now?

How do you say all that when she’s upstairs with the good wine and a good boy?

And you’re not.

_ So, what about these feelings I've got? _

_ We got it wrong and you said you had enough _

_ But what about these feelings I've got? _

So she’s here. On her couch. And her song -  _ their _ song - is number four in the UK.

And  _ she _ is nowhere to be seen.

_ I couldn't be more in love. _

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think!!!


End file.
